Blog – Page 4 – Mel's Life

Marrying With An Age Gap

Telling Family

When my husband and I first started dating, I was nervous to tell my mom about him. There’s a bit of an age gap and I knew she wouldn’t approve. While I know it was ultimately my decision in who I date, I still wanted approval. The last thing I wanted was for my mom to hate who I was dating, and saw myself marrying, for the rest of our lives. But, I told her, and her reaction was exactly as I expected. She did not approve. She gave her opinion on in and said words that to this day still hurt. I also got to hear from my sister that my mom was praying that we would break up.

As time passed on though, she became more accepting of our relationship and feels completely different than when she first found out about us. However, I know she still feels embarrassed when it comes to the age difference between us. She hasn’t told my step-dad his exact age, though I know he can get a guess since he knows my husband had a son prior to us dating.

Marriage

When it came to my husband and I dating, from the beginning we knew that our relationship was going to end up in marriage. Prior to me dating my husband, I had never been in a relationship. In high school I would see other people dating and while I wished someone had asked me on a date, I never wanted to date anyone I went to school with. My views on dating were much different than my peers. While everyone saw dating around as being fun, I didn’t see a point in dating if I couldn’t see myself marrying the person.

While my mom was on board with us dating, when it came to me announcing we were getting married she seemed to be a bit disappointed. She didn’t want me to tell my step-dad. She wanted to be the one to do it. It was like she wanted to “break the news” to him. As if it was a blow to them rather than something I could and should be excited for. But, again over time, it seemed like she warmed up to it. She helped a lot when it came to the wedding plans.

Then as it got closer to the wedding, it was like the embarrassment came back for her. The day before the wedding we went to go set up the decorations at the church. We had some family come into town who had never met my husband. My mom told me she let them know “He’s darker so he looks older than he is.” Which might have been fine, but my husband actually looks younger than he is so I know this was just a way to cover up his actual age. And even then, my Uncle told her, “I’ve been married many times, I am not going to judge who someone loves.”

Choosing Love

My Uncle’s statement leads me to my conclusion on the post. Choose the person you love. Don’t limit yourself because you’re afraid of what your family or friends might think. You are the one that gets to be with them for the rest of your life. If they make you happy, treat you well and you genuinely believe you are meant to be with them. Choose them. Don’t settle for someone because someone thinks an age determines if you should be with them. An age is exactly what it is. A number. A number shouldn’t determine who you are with. The love that you give and that is given to you, is what matters.

As always, thank you for reading until the end and don’t forget to hit the follow button on the right side of the screen so you don’t miss out on any future posts. Don’t forget to check out the other sections on my website as well.

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The Greatest Keepsake

I had recently read a post on pinterest about when your child is born or still little, reserve a email account for them. Throughout the years, you can send them pictures, notes and stories about their childhood.

You can share their greatest achievements and share it in an email to them, sort of like what you would do in a baby book, but you have much more room to go into detail. The point of this would be, once they turn 18, you can give them the password to this account and they can go through and read and see all the things you sent to them as they grew up.

You could write something to them each day, or save special notes for certain occasions, it’s really up to you. I wish I had seen this when my son was first born, but I have decided to still get started on this as he is still only 2 years old.

The point of this post is really to give you an extra idea to preserve the memories of you child in an exciting way for them and for you. When they turn 18, you and your child can look back on the memories together and remember one’s that you may have forgotten about.

As always thank you for reading along and don’t forget to hit the follow button on the right side of the screen so you can keep up with any other posts. Also don’t forget to check out my other pages, listed below, on my website.

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Make Money Easy!

For two years now I have been using an app called Qapital to help me save money. I originally got this app for the purpose of putting money aside for a year that way, come my and my husband’s anniversary, we would have money that we could use to spend on our yearly trip.

I do have a savings account, but what I like about this app is that it restricts me from easily spending the money I am trying to save. Yes, you can switch the money from the app back to your account at any time, but since it is separate, I don’t see it directly from my bank account, therefore it’s an extra step I would have to take to move it over, vs just taking the money from the account.

However, since having this account, I have completely missed on the offer that has been right in front of my face the whole time. Their every day referral program allows for you to refer someone with your code and once they make a deposit to their account, you and the person you referred get’s $20!

Customize Your Rules

When you first sign up for Qapital, you link your bank information for the account you want to money switched over to. Then you can set up what you want to save the money for. Mine is always set for Beach Trip because that’s what I use the extra money for, but you can choose whatever you want.

Next you set up how you want your money taken out. There are many options to choose from and you can control how much money you want taken each time. You can stop all of these options at any time. Plus, not to worry, if your bank account gets low, Qapital will stop withdrawing from your account, but again, all savings withdrawals can be stopped whenever you wish.

Every Day Referral Program

The Qapital everyday referral bonus program (the “Everyday Referral Bonus”) offers a cash bonus to Qapital users referring first-time Qapital accountholders (each such first-time accountholder a “Referred User”) and each Referred User. The Everyday Referral Bonus amount will be determined from time to time and disclosed in the mobile app. The Referral Bonus will appear in the form of a deposit in your Qapital account.

For more information you can CLICK HERE for all rules and conditions.

Click here to get started

Once again, thank you for reading to the end. Don’t forget to hit the follow button on the right side of the screen so you don’t miss out on any future posts.

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Journey to the Beginning of the End

*Disclaimer: In no way am I saying you should/shouldn’t breastfeed your child nor am I saying you have to stop at a certain time. This is just how it is for me and my son.*

When I had my son 2 and a half years ago, breastfeeding was a love hate relationship. It took him a while to get it, it was painful, he ate almost non-stop and I dreaded it. I always worried about my supply running low due to not getting much when I pumped, but he got plenty while actually nursing.

However, over time we got the hang of it, it stopped being so painful and it actually was so easy for us. It was convenient to be able to feed him anywhere I went. It was easy when it came to feeding him in the middle of the night, I didn’t actually have to get out of bed to feed him.

Fast forward 2 1/2 years, and it was still the way I got him to sleep and he was still waking up during the night just to nurse himself back to sleep. It finally got to the point that I was no longer enjoying the nursing experience again. He only wanted to nurse to go to sleep and would wake up for the comfort. It had been over 2 years and he still wasn’t sleeping through the night when everyone else I knew had their kids sleeping through the night before the age of one.

So that’s where my journey to stopping breast feeding started. He needed to learn to get himself to sleep and in my hopes, that would mean he would stop waking up throughout the night. If I got rid of what was waking him up (realizing he wasn’t nurse every time he stirred) then maybe we could get the rest we have been needing.

Day One

The first night, I actually set myself up for it being easy. I actually hadn’t entirely planned to stop this night, but in the moment, I knew it was time. He had skipped his nap during the day so I knew he was going to be tired. When it came to bed time, he asked to nurse, but didn’t put up much of a fight when it came to me telling him no. I offered to play with his hair and he was asleep within minutes.

Now, this didn’t last long. He actually woke up every 2 hours this night, but I was able to get him back to sleep with either scratching his back or snuggles. He did decide to get up for the day an hour earlier than usual, but night one was complete.

Day Two

This night was slightly easier, he woke up about 3 times this night. It did take him a bit longer to first fall asleep, but again didn’t put up much of a fight. In my head, it was much easier than I had expected.

Day Three

This day he was set to go to my moms in the evening after his nap. This is when the struggle really began. He didn’t want to nap and he also wasn’t feeling very good so he was just not in a good mood to begin with. He was constantly asking to get up and had to go to the bathroom or was hungry. Basically he was using anything he could to not go to sleep. Finally I managed to get him to sleep, but had to be woken up after 45 minutes.

After waking him up, it was constant screaming. He would say he wanted one thing and when I tried to get it he would say he wanted the opposite. He started saying he had to go to the bathroom but every time I tried, he would scream saying he didn’t have to. Finally got him calmed down, and off to my moms he went for the night. Apparently he woke up often, but my mom still managed to get him back to sleep. Again, he was up an hour earlier than usual.

Day Four

This was the hardest day by far. He screamed all before his nap. He did not want to lay down but he was definitely tired. It took way longer to get him to finally fall asleep. It took a snack and me rocking him to sleep before he crashed from putting up such a fight.

This night was also the hardest. It didn’t take much to initially get him to sleep. My mom had mentioned playing lullabies to get him sleepy when he stayed the night with her, so I put on some music on my phone and he fell asleep somewhat fast. This did’t last very long. He woke up twice, but both times was a struggle to get him back to sleep. He kept crying, he kept saying he had to go to the bathroom but wouldn’t let me take him. I finally got him to sleep by playing more music for him.

Day Five

So far the easiest day. When it came to getting him to take a nap, he didn’t want anything from me. He didn’t want me to scratch his back or play with his hair. He just laid in bed for a while, rolled over onto his stomach and slowly fell asleep on his own. He slept for a long time this day and woke up in a great mood. A nap time win!

It also didn’t take much to get him to sleep either this night. He did ask for a snack and music but I just told him he could have it in the morning and that was enough for him. I did have to scratch his arm (by scratch I mean rubbing my nails gently up and down his arm to relax him) for a little while, but then he wanted to fall asleep by himself. This was the best night sleep he has EVER had. He woke up one time at 4:20 a.m. but fell back to sleep really fast and didn’t wake up again until a little after 8 a.m.

Weaning him from breast feeding was the biggest thing I was dreading. I had tried it in the past and there was no calming him down. I say if you are looking to stop, follow the timing of both you and your baby. And once you start the process, stick with it. Day Four was the day I really thought about just giving in, but I knew I would just have to start the process all over again. Then look, the next day was the easiest day.

As always, thank you for reading along. Don’t forget to hit the follow but on the right side to keep up with future posts. Have a wonderful day, and comment below any stories you might have of the hardest thing you had to do.

To My Ex Best Friend

To My Ex-Best Friend,

I wonder if you still think about me as much as I think of you. I find myself thinking about when we first became friends. It was shortly after my Aunt had died and you allowed me to smile again. You were there for me through so many hard times. You have been there to laugh with me, cry with me, or even just sit in silence with you.

You taught me so much in life, that I don’t think you even know. You taught me the value of true friendship, the treatment of others, and things I didn’t realize until our friendship came to an end. I found peace, comfort, love and laughter not just with you, but your family and in your home. My teen years were spent talking to you and dreaming with you of our future and families.

Those times of us getting married and raising our kids together is now a long lost fantasy. We have our separate lives that I know nothing about. What’s new? Anything exciting? I guess I won’t know. I don’t where we went wrong and am curious to if I’m the one to blame.

It’s hard for me. To think about our friendship. Knowing how happy we were together and not knowing that one day it would all come to a sudden end. I wish I could go back to those times, just to relive it all over again.

You deserve all the best in life and I hope you’re doing well. I hope your friendships and relationships cherish you the way I still do. I hope they don’t take your friendship for granted the way that I once had.

Take care and know you will always have a special place inside my heart.

Arrested Threat??

If you haven’t read my previous post on my first job, I HIGHLY recommend checking it out BEFORE reading this post! Go read it and then come back to continue on with this story!

Click Here to read last post!

New Manager; New Nightmare

I had just enjoying my work at Dollar General when I was hit with my store manager, B, leaving. I’m not a big fan of change and was really nervous to see who our new store manager would be.

I remember coming in one day, at the time I rode my bike to work, and the new manager, T, was working and he asked if I wanted to take my bike and put it in the back warehouse that way it wouldn’t have to stay outside my whole shift. After my first meeting of him, I thought he was really cool, pretty relaxed and I thought he would be fun to have around to work with. This opinion quickly changed.

First Closing Shift with T

I have never been a big fan of working with the head manager. Not that I had anything to hide or there was really anything wrong with it, but it always made me extra nervous or paranoid that I was doing something wrong or do something they didn’t like. This first night that I closed with T, everything went really smooth. As said he seemed really laid back and he wanted to get out just as much as I did.

Now how the store is set up and how it runs, at the time, the registers were in the very front of the store, as most are. When it came to closing, the manager or key holder would take all the registers and count the money and then count out the safe and have the deposit ready for the next morning. There’s cameras in just about every spot of the store, except the restrooms and the break room. The problem with this is that in order to get to the office you have to go through the break room, so there’s a period of not having a camera on you.

When it has come to closing, I have always been spot on with what was suppose to be in the register come time to count. This night, I finished cleaning the bathrooms and swept and mopped and was ready to leave, when T comes out and says that I was $30 short on my register. I was shocked and the company has a pretty strict rule of being that short in the register. You’re basically given 3 chances and then you’re fired.

So T comes out and tells me this and proceeds to say “But if you bring me the $30 tomorrow I won’t tell anyone and nobody has to know that your register was short.” Red flag right away. I knew there was no way that I gave that much extra change away and I knew I didn’t take it. I didn’t really say anything to him, but when my mom picked me up that night I went home and just cried because I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to end up in trouble.

The Next Morning

The next morning, our key holder, C, called me and asked me what happened. She knew that I was never short like that and just knew something was wrong. I went to tell her the conversation that T had with me about bringing him the money. She reassured me that everything would be alright and that she was going to make a call to our loss prevention to get it taken care of.

I was somewhat relieved but at the same time was nervous to go into work that afternoon. When I got into work that day, loss prevention was already there with our district manager, G. They told me that they would going to be interviewing both me and the store manager to get down to basically see who the guilty one was. When it came time for my interview, honestly, it was terrible.

They sat me down next to them. It was me, the loss prevention lady and my district manager. They asked me to tell my side of the story and after I finished, it was a full on lecture and a threat. She told me, “Well the problem here is that there are different stories being told. I am hearing that you are the one that offered to bring in the $30 so that you wouldn’t get in trouble and if we find out that you are the one that stole the money, we will have a police officer come into the store and arrest you in front on everyone.”

At that point I just wanted to quit but I knew I couldn’t because that would just make me look guilty of something I didn’t do. They gave me time to calm down, because at that point I was having a full on panic attack and was told that I could go to the bathroom to calm down. However, T came knocking on the door to tell me that I needed to get on register.

Further Theft

In the weeks/months that followed, every time our store manager would close, someone’s register would come up short on money. After multiple phone calls to the district manager, it was finally decided that everyone would count their own register in front of each other that way there was no way that someone could steal without the other person knowing and you were now in control of your own register.

Nobodies registers were coming up short anymore and it was fine for a little while. That is until the nightly deposits started coming up $200 short every time T closed. Nothing was being done about it because according to our district manager, there was no proof that he was the one taking the money, even though it only happened when he closed.

Not only were the deposits coming up short, every time they would come up short, suddenly our store manager would go on “vacation” or would have a “family emergency” and would be gone for 1-2 weeks before he would return and start the process over again.

FINALLY our district manager came in one day to tell us that T would no longer be working with us due to him being caught on camera taking money and putting it in his pocket. The nightmare of dealing with this manager was finally over and we were going to be getting a new store manager soon.

Stay tuned for my future post on this last store manager and the reason why I quit working at Dollar General. As always, thank you for reading along. Don’t forget to hit the follow button on the right side of the screen to get notified of future posts.

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Parenting

My First Job

June 2011

I had just graduated from high school the 4th of June and was given the “Go to school or get a job” speech from my mom. Most kids my age, 18, had already had a job in the past, many of whom had summer jobs starting at 16 or were working their senior year. I, on the other hand, was incredibly shy, and even more terrified at the thought of even having to go in for an interview.

Now, I would have loved to start off going to college, heck I would have graduated much earlier, but there was a problem. In order to get to college, I would need transportation as both of my parents worked, incredibly early in the morning at the time. We were not that well off that my parents could just buy me a car. So in order for me to get a car, I needed to work to save up for one. So that is where I began my journey of job hunting.

Job hunting actually was very easy. The first place I applied to was Dollar General, as it was very close to our house. My mom took me in to get an application and right away they had me take their qualification test, in which I had passed. I later (by later I mean a few days) I called to talk to the store manager about my application. We’ll refer to this manager as, R.

Getting into contact with R was much more difficult than I had expected as there was a lot of changes going on with the store and company. Long story short, I never got an interview, but was instead just hired right away. I went in to fill out the paper work and get myself into their system.

An issue arose as a few days had gone by and I didn’t hear anything back from R about when I would be starting. I kept calling to get into contact with him, but he was never there when I called. (Follow along as this way the first sign that maybe I shouldn’t work here.) Anyways. After some time of me calling I finally find out that R was then transferred to another store and the new store manager knew nothing about me being hired, though I had already done the paperwork and was now in their system as being an employee.

I got into contact with the new store manager, this one we’ll call B. I finally get set up to start my first official day of work as a Dollar General employee.

July 11, 2011

My first official day of work was on July 11, 2011. I always found this day being easy to remember because it was 7-11. (If you don’t think this convenient store is amazing, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Half kidding.) I go in that night to be trained by someone I actually went to high school with, though we didn’t really know each other, only recognition. (Let’s just say I was not cool enough in high school for many people to know me.)

I started off learning the register and learning what is to be expected of closing duties. I remember going home that night being SO excited about working the cash register. My exact words being, “It was so fun! I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of working a cash register!” Ha….haha…Yeah I got tired of it VERY fast.

Now, we’ll fast forward about a month. Because it took me about that long to put in my 2 week notice for the first time. I absolutely hated working there. I got very little hours for it to not be worth it in my eyes. However, the problem I quickly learned was that it looks very bad to other companies to quit a job, a first job at that, after only working a month and nobody wanted to hire me. At this time I wanted something more fast paced. Dollar General was slow and I felt like I was doing nothing when it came to benefiting a company.

Luckily for me, the store manager, as well as all the other key holders talked me out of quitting. Apparently I was a good employee and was promised I would get more hours, especially once the holidays came around. This was actually all very true. I started getting more hours, which allowed me to do more work around the store. Time went faster at work, I was learning more, and doing more. I felt like I was contributing to the company and I was happier working here. Then my store manager got a new job and we would soon be introduced to our second store manager.

Click here to read part 2

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Our Love Story

Before Dating

In July of 2011, I had just graduated high school the month before, and my mother gave me the “Either go to school or get a job” speech. The problem with this is that I didn’t have a car or someone that could take me to school and I couldn’t afford a car without getting a job, so the logical thing to do was get a job and save up to buy a car. So, I applied at Dollar General that was 5 minutes from the house, which was the only place I applied and actually got hired almost right away.

Now, my husband, Thomas, worked with Flowers Baking delivery bread and other pastry snacks at the time of me work at Dollar General and actually delivered to our store twice a week. When I first started working I didn’t get too many hours so I didn’t started seeing him until we were on our 3rd store manager. When I finally did start to see him, me being as shy as I am, didn’t talk to him at all for months/years.

By the time we were onto our 3rd manager, I was promoted to a key holder, and being a key holder, one of the responsibilities is to check in vendors, so I was basically forced into interacting with more people and vendors. Tuesdays and Thursdays were our bread days and Thomas went from delivering in the mornings to suddenly coming in the evenings when I worked. (I didn’t think anything of this at the time because honestly I’m blind to any sort of flirting and what not.)

December of 2013 was roughly when we really started talking/texting. At the time it was nothing romantic as I wasn’t sure how he felt about me, heck I didn’t even know how I felt about him, but since he was a vendor and I was a key holder (I believe Assistant Manager at this point) I didn’t know what the rules were about relationships between the two.

The Start of Something

In January of 2014, Thomas left Flowers Baking to be a vendor with Pepperidge Farm. He no longer serviced our store anymore and by this point I had just about had it with Dollar General. (Future post to come of my experience working there) We started talking more and more and went on, what I would now call, dates since we no longer saw each other at DG. January 24, 2014 was the day we started dating.

From there, our relationship grew very fast and we experienced a lot together. Many job changes, house changes, life and relationship changes. From the very beginning we both felt like we were meant to be together. I had never been in a relationship before, but I couldn’t imagine ever dating anyone else. Our connection was strong and we had so much understanding of each other, our feelings and the way we worked together. We were partners and mixed so well together.

The Dating Life

From the moment me and Thomas started dating, my manager knew something was different with me. She suspected I was dating someone and while I was in love, I didn’t want to tell her. She hated Thomas and I knew it, but it eventually came out and things changed instantly.

I went from being her favorite employee and even though I was the hardest and most dedicated employee she had, she hated me. She treated me poorly, wrote me up for anything and everything and set expectations I couldn’t meet. I dreaded going into work and would call Thomas almost every day say I wanted to quit, but he wanted me to stick it out and if I really wanted to quit, to do it the correct way. One day when I really couldn’t take it anymore, he called me and said a Christian Store was hiring and to call the manager.

So January of 2015 I put in my notice and started working at Family Christian and said good riddance to the job that brought me and Thomas together.

Engagement

On the 24th of July Thomas proposed and we set the wedding date for a few months from then. It was very fast, a bit stressful but everything worked out perfectly. That is, until the week before the wedding. It was set to happen in a pavilion next to the main building of my moms church. However, it had started to rain and even if it didn’t rain on the day of the wedding, the floor of the pavilion would be too slippery to be safe.

Our only option at this point was to pay extra to have the wedding in the main building of the church. This part actually ended up working out beautifully and I’m happy it worked out this way, though at the time it was pretty stressful. The second thing that happened was the night before the wedding, we had just finished decorating for the next day when we got a call from our caterer. The grill that he uses to cook the food had broken and had no other way to cook the food. Luckily, the church had agreed to let him use the grill that is located in the pavilion.

Wedding

The day of our wedding took place on November 7, 2015 and it couldn’t have gone more perfect. Looking back at it now, there’s not a single thing I would change about it. We were surrounded by the people that mattered most to us. Had friends we hadn’t seen in a while show up and celebrate with us. And in the end I got to marry my very best friend.

Me, Myself and I

When it comes to starting a blog, I have found the hardest part is actually getting started.
What should you write about?
Who is your audience?
What interests other people?
I wasn’t sure how to get going. You can’t just jump into it, I mean you can, but it seems a bit like starting a book in the middle. So as a lot of people do, I’m going to be introducing myself with simple questions about me that I found from “The LDN diaries” website. So lets just jump right in!

What is your middle name?

My middle name is Lynn. I wasn’t named after anyone, but my older sister had the initials “MLG” so my mom wanted to keep it matching, so Lynn it is!

Share your favorite subject in high school.

I really enjoyed History and English. Both of those subjects came naturally to me and I ended up majoring in English in college.

What is your favorite drink?

I am a sucker for sodas, especially flavored ones. Cherry Vanilla Coke of Dr. Pepper would be my two favorites. My husband and I are really trying to cut back on them though so we have been buying those water enhancers, lemonade being the go to flavor for me.

What would you (or have you) name(d) your children?

I have one son named Joshua. If we had a girl we were going to name her Grace, Gracie as a nickname.

Have you participated in any sports?

I really enjoy Softball and Tennis but was always to shy to participate in any extracurricular activities. Looking back now I wish I had just gone out and played.

What is your favorite book?

Anything by Sarah Dessen. I don’t necessarily have a favorite, but she is my inspiration when it comes to writing.

What is your favorite color?

I am TERRIBLE when it comes to answering this question. I always say blue or green, so Aqua would be the easier answer. But I also really love the color red (except on cars, sorry to anyone who has a red car) and the color yellow (Again, not on cars, unless its a Volkswagen Beetle).

What is your favorite animal?

Elephants and Giraffes are the cutest and you can’t try and convince me otherwise.

What is your favorite perfume?

My husband bought me “Princess” by Vera Wang for Mother’s Day almost 2 years ago and I’m going on empty.

What is your favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving, hands down. Give me all the good food!

On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your childhood?

I would say I had a pretty good childhood, with some definite downsides later on, so I would give it an 8.

Have you ever been out of the country?

I used to want to go to Paris, but I’m afraid of flying so I don’t see that happening.

What is your favorite movie?

Easy, “A Walk to Remember”.

What are some of your favorite T.V. shows?

Well I currently really only watch children shows but I like “Friends” and “Law and Order SVU”.

What phone do you have?

I have an Android LG G6, but we are looking into getting new phones soon.

Do you have any pets?

I have one orange cat named Sammy. He thinks he’s a dog though and protects us. We actually rescued him after someone dropped him off at a gas station at a busy intersection. Coolest cat ever.

If you made it this far, I applaud you. Don’t forget to follow so you can keep up with the rest of my posts. Comment anything you might like to see on here! If you enjoyed these questions, answer them for yourself so I can get to know you too!